Infomercials

With the recent incarceration (and release) of the ShamWOW guy and the death of Billy Mays, I figured it's a good time to talk about infomercials. There have been many internet videos making fun of the two thus far so I will not beat a dead horse. However, there are too many late night infomercials that I could spend hours writing about. I'll keep it to just one for now. Some weeks ago on a particularly sleepless night I remember having the privilege of watching an infomercial on network TV about Oreck vacuums. The commercial actually wasn't so bad other than the product looking like it came straight out of the late 80s! Don't get me wrong. I know little about vacuums and Orecks may be great products, but as someone who has little room to store big bulky cleaning tools, I'd like my vacuum to look at least slightly contemporary. Plus, where are all the great features like swivel, low profile handles and modern accessories like bagless collection? I love how they always show consumers that their vacuum will pick up all kinds of large objects that should never be sucked off the floor into a plastic impeller such as marbles, coins, tacs and other damaging items. Sure, the vacuum picked them up, but now that the impeller has been chipped and pierced to pieces, you likely have no suction left!

To make matters worse, they boast about how light their product is, which reminded me of every Swivel Sweeper commercial I've ever seen showing some idiot trying to carry their big bulky vacuum up a flight of stairs. Why are they and idiot you say? I'm sure it has nothing to do with how they are carrying the product by the wrong handle or left the cord unwrapped as to trip on it, or that the man or woman carrying it has apparently never done a lick of exercise in their life and can't manage to lift an amazingly heavy 10+ pounds! By all means, please show me the consumer the dumbest and weakest example of a human being so that I can be impressed by the relative light weight of your product! What happens when I'm carrying their 5 pound lightweight vacuum up some steps and forget to wrap the cord resulting in a bad fall? Two surgeries and a hip replacement later (and yet the people they show are clearly in their 40s, but are so frail they would probably break a hip) I guess I could sue for them making the claim that some malnourished, atrophied idiot could carry their product up a flight of steps without incident. Oh well, I guess I'm just dreaming....