Denny's "Chino"

The recent Denny's commercial for their new breakfast offering is music to my ears. In it, they ask what is up with people drinking "chino" drinks as their breakfast, saying that steamed milk and coffee is not a breakfast. I personally drink a juice breakfast for several reasons, not least of which is an attempt to get a serving of fruit for the day.

The actor cast for this commercial is geneous. Not only does he deliver his monologue with a hilariously appropriate straight face, but he also gives the viewer a small nostalgia about for the days when Dan Aykroyd was still funny.

Levi's Terrifying Go Forth Campaign

This series of ads is truly creepy and personally, I'm a bit scared that Levi's would choose to express their first amendment rights in such a way. Instead of going on a rant about what is so wrong with these ads, I'll just quote the speech of the most disconcerting of them. The audio track is as follows.

"Pioneers! Oh pioneers! Come my tan faced children. Follow well in order. Get your weapons ready! Have you your pistols? Have you your sharp edged axes pioneers, oh pioneers? For we cannot tarry here! We must march my darlings. We must bear the brunt of danger! We, the youthful sinewy races, all the rest on us depend. Pioneers. Oh pioneers. All you youths, western youths. So impatient, full of action, full of manly pride and friendship. Plain I see you western youths. See you tramping with the foremost. Pioneers. Oh pioneers. We divouch upon a newer mightier world, varied world. Fresh and strong, the world we seize. Pioneers. Oh pioneers.


A quick google search revealed that this commercial took stanzas from a Walt Whitman poem. Taken out of context as it is, this bastardized version of the poem sounds nothing short of Hitler Youth propaganda. Creepy.

Verizon and AT&T map ads

When will the mudslinging end, Verizon? Both Comcast and AT&T have been positive in their ads except in some cases. Verizon, you continually try to criticize your opposition using unmeasurable claims such as "There's a map for that", poking fun at the Apple iPhone's, "There's an app for that." Now you've created a series of commercials showing a nationwide map of your coverage areas for 3g as compared to AT&T.

Here's my biggest question. Is this a national ad or have you localized it to the NE region? The reason I ask is because if this commercial is supposed to be localized, why do you show a national map? I'm fairly certain that if we took a poll of people living in this region, there would be only a rather small percentage who travel nationally on a fairly often basis. My point here is that if customers get 3g coverage and good signal strength in the local areas they usually travel, why should they care that your network has coverage in all those other cities and states?

In response to Verizon's claims, AT&T has now started slinging mud back, making claims about the functionality of Verizon's 3g network not being able to use data aps while talking on the phone. Also, they have hired a celebrity to discuss all the places AT&T does have 3g coverage, which is a whole heck of a lot of places according to the ad.

Come on guys. Quit the mudslinging aleady. Stop criticizing each other's phones. Apple has made a great product and I know it is scaring all you non-iPhone networks because of the customer base you've lost. All this criticism is not helping you. You cannot fight the 3000 lb juggernaut that is Apple, so stop trying. You need to find an innovative product that will win people back in a positive, non-critical way. Stop trying to make products that are just a laundry list of things your phone does that iPhone doesn't do.

The Nightly News

Now I'm not going to take the time in this blog post to explain how your favorite news program is pushing a very specific agenda as set by their parent corporations. Nor will I make a big deal about how the Delaware Valley area news programs are entirely racist in their reporting of crime; having heard testimonials of people witnessing a crime committed by a white person that was ignored so that a news corespondent could run to the crime scene of a black person. The point of this posting is the blatant product placement in most nightly new programs.

With the holidays approaching, be aware of "consumer reports" about toys and less childish products being promoted or criticized by these stations. Keep in mind, they are owned by a parent company and want to promote the products of other companies within the parent company's family. NBC is one good example, owned by its parent GE and sistered by health care, aviation and transportation companies. If these companies have a good relationship with certain manufacturers pr brands, expect to see those products or services promoted. If not, as in the Chinese toy recall of early 2009 that led to significant American revenue loss, expect business partners to get slammed in the news by your favorite news anchor.

The product of sport is also heavily promoted. Even major religions don't have a place on the news as a regular segment, but American football and other sports do have a time slot devoted just to them. Ever wonder why 10-15 minutes of your news broadcast is filled with information about whatever sport is seasonally big? It's a 10-15 minute commercial for your local team to get fans excited so that their love of the game will grow and they will spend dollars on endorsed products and team logo emblazoned goods. The conversation about American football becoming America's fourth major religion possibly in front of Christianity, Judaism and Islam is a topic for another time, but only sports receive such devotion by the news.

Also, isn't it ironic how the news advertises heavily throughout the evening about some interesting story coming up in that evening's broadcast only to depress its viewers with a laundry list of crime and murder that has taken place that day or just recently. The juice of the program is of course the weather and that one or two stories advertised earlier, which when finally played after all the tripe reveal that there was no more substance to the story than what was already seen on the earlier ad.

In the interest of full disclosure, I've largely stopped watching the news altogether. I just find it to be uninformative and propagandist. Don't even get me started on the swine flu or the new health recommendations for women. In the words of Adam Curry, "Nothing to see here. Oooh look at that." The news to me is just a distraction from what is really happening in this country and abroad. Watch with discretion and at your own intellectual risk.